FART WARS!

Back in 1994, I apparently drew the first three pages of a horrible Star Wars spoof comic. I actually have no memory of this, but it's definitely my style from back then and bears the mark of my Hammerhead Comix pseudo publishing company. Also, I imagine that this was drawn in some late night diner in Greensboro, NC, hence the crappy blue ballpoint pen and lined notebook paper. Thanks to my old homeboy, Dee, for digging these up and giving me a laugh! Enjoy this look into what a total loser I was. Oh, some of it may be NSFW, if you work in a stupid place.

Below is the "cover", and I use that term loosely. I just now noticed that the TIE Fighter is supposed to be a telephone. Why did I think that would be funny?

 Apparently, not only was I a horrible artist, but I was a bit of a pervert, too...

Next up, we have a "pin-up" page. Considering my stunning lack of skills drawing the human anatomy, it's a wonder how I ever built a career as an illustrator.

Anyway, hope you all got a good laugh out of this. God knows I did! I was such a loser.

Deadpool Unmasked! Funko Pop Style...

Whaddup, fellow Hordytes! I just wanted to take a quick second to show off the painted sample we just got in from our factory of the long-awaited (by some people, somewhere in the world, I'm sure) unmasked Deadpool Pop! figure.

This will be an exclusive (can't remember where, sorry), but from what I've been reading on the forums and whatnot, the unmasked version of the "merc with a mouth" has been on many Funko Pop! collectors' wish lists. I just realized how ironic it is that he doesn't have a mouth in this form.

The body was designed by long-time Funko designer, Rob Schwartz, I just designed the new head.

Also, I know it looks a little sloppy in the pic, but that's often the case with hand-painted samples. The final piece will be much more crisp and precise.

Anyway, I was just feeling a little showy-offy. Hope you dig him!

 

Is That... OH MY GOD, IT IS!

So, there I was, browsing the toy section at my local Target, not really looking to buy anything, but just seeing what was new, when I found myself looking at these little rubbery Spider-Man Fighter Pods dudes...

I was just about to walk away when my awesomeness radar went off and forced my eyeballs to zoom in on this badass little piece of web-slinging pork...

Sweet molten cheese balls! It's Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham!

This was one of my all-time favorite comics back in middle school and I've been dying for a really well-done Spider-Ham action figure. Sadly, this set was $6.99 and I just couldn't drop that for one little rubbery piglet, but maybe I can hunt him down on eBay.

Still, seeing this warmed my heart knowing that he's not forgotten.

Here's to you, Spider-Ham.

My Kingdom for a Daryl Dixon!

Well, okay... maybe not my kingdom, but...

I'm writing this post in humble appeal to you, my people, my brother and sister collectors, my fellow lovers of the undead, in the hopes that someone out there can find me the one toy that has maddeningly eluded me for the past weeks, a McFarlane Walking Dead Daryl Dixon figure.

Sadly, this figure, of the most popular character on the TV show, is being snatched up by scalpers like Courtney Love snatching up little baggies of crystal meth off a hotel coffee table, only to be thrown up on eBay commanding absurd prices, upwards to $200.

Here's the thing, I just can't pay that for a single toy. Especially one that isn't even vintage.

But that doesn't change the fact that the current herd of zombies on my desk can't be held off my Rick Grimes alone.

So, if anyone out there has one of these, in the package or loose, and is willing to sell it for a reasonable price (mostly out of the good of your own heart) or may be willing to trade for some cool Funko swag, hit me with an email at reisobrien[at]gmail[dot]com.

Again, loose is fine, but I'd prefer it to be complete. And I can't stress reasonable price enough.I'm not trying to be cheap, but damn.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me beg.

Oh No. What Have I Done? G.I. Joe Micro Force!

I should just hire someone who follows me around whenever I'm in a toy store or toy department and smacks me in the face any time I make an impulse buy, just to save me from launching yet another toy obsession.

For example, I stopped my a local Fred Meyer store near my work to go to the bank inside the store and grab a little something from the deli for lunch, but I'll be damned if I didn't get caught in the tractor beam of the toy department and somehow find these rubbery little badasses right next to my ruben panini, bag of chips and king size Kit-Kat...

Little rubber, stylized G.I. Joe figures based on the classic Hasbro Real American Hero line for only $5? YES PLEASE!

Oh, and there's a gazillion of them to collect, you say? GREAT. THAT'S JUST EFFING GREAT. 

I rooted through the packs on the pegs, all of which seem to be randomized, until I found one with both Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow in it.

The fact that it had this adorable little Destro (despite his wonky eyes) was just a bonus.

Of course, they can't all be winners, so I got stuck with who I think is Roadblock (never one of my favorite Joes) and who I originally thought was Firefly or Beach Head, but then realized was just some sort of green ninja dude.

I mostly bought them just to see what they were all about. I can always justify is as "work research". But let's be honest, my "research" is probably far from over. Because I'm seriously gonna need a Cobra Commander, Zartan and Timber before this is all said and done.

And may the toy gods have mercy on my soul if I give in to the urge to collect them all.

Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo JOE!

More Obvious Cause of Death Ghosts!

I've made some more Obvious Cause of Death Ghosts for my upcoming homemade toys show at the Tasty Gallery and I just thought I'd show them off.

Plans are already going forward for an online store for these and I've been talking with some people about even bigger plans for these little guys, but more news on that when I get it.

In the meantime, enjoy, and contemplate death...

Leage of Extraordinary Bloggers Post: I Love...

Oh man, has it been a long time since I've posted a League assignment! But what can I say? I found myself inspired by this one.

This week's assignment is all about listing the things you love, and since my blog is all about the geekier things in life, I thought I'd just start typing about all the geeky things I love and we'll just see what comes out.

Ready? Here we go.

I love Princess Leia. I also love Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, Yvonne Craig as Batgirl, Daisy Duke, and especially Elvira. And I have loved all of these women almost my entire life.

I love Star Wars. I love the friendship between Han and Chewie. I love X-Wing Fighters. I love Jawas. And I love every single second of Empire Strikes Back.

I love classic Disney. That includes all pre-80s Disney movies, Disneyland and old Mickey Mouse and Uncle Scrooge comics (especially anything by Carl Barks).

Since we're talking artists, I love Frank Frazetta, Chuck Jones, Charles Shultz, Bernie Wrightson, Dan Brereton, Mike Mignola, Sergio Aragones, John Buscema & Ernie Chan and most importantly Jack Kirby.

I love cartoons like Space Ghost, The Herculoids and Thundarr the Barbarian.

I have always, and still do, love the Smurfs.

I love The Walking Dead, the show and the comics and the toys.

I love the smell of old comic books and paperback novels.

I love Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns.

I love all of the Elder Scrolls games, Morrowind, Oblivion and Skyrim.

I love old school games too, especially Pac Man, Tempest, Donkey Kong, Galaga and Centipede. And I love the Atari 2600, especially Pitfall on that system.

I love the book Ready Player One. And I love everything that Terry Pratchett has ever written and I love the Harry Potter books.

I love comic book conventions.

I love Colorforms and Stomper 4X4s and Mego dolls and M.U.S.C.L.E. men and Tomy wind-up robots and Kenner Star Wars figures and Nerf footballs and Shogun Warriors.

I love every single second of Conan the Barbarian. And The Beastmaster, for that matter.

But most of all, I love my wife, my two cats and my dog more than life itself. I love my job. I love my friends, especially the Vivace and Beaver Camp crew. And I love my fellow geek bloggers, the Dork Horders and the fellow League members.

And I love my mom.

I guess I'll end it there. I'm sure I'll think of a thousand other things that I love and the fact that I have that many things to love in my life is the thing I love the most.

What does the rest of the League love?

Branded In The 80's
Goodwill Hunting for Geeks
Fortune & Glory (Days)

Phase 2 of My Star Wars Tattoos is Complete...

Some of you may remember that back in December (hey, that rhymed!) I took the plunge and decided to declare my love for Star Wars in a big bad way by getting my mitts inked up. Well, that was only the first phase, and this time my knuckles got the treatment.

Dig it...

And for the record, if any of you out there are contemplating getting your knuckles inked, let me make one thing absolutely clear to you; THIS EFFING HURTS.

Also, these pics were taken right after we finished, so they're still a little bloody. Those red spots aren't really permanent.

Now for Phase 3...

Introducing Dork Horde Toys!

Hey there fellow Hordytes!

I thought I'd take a moment out of my Saturday morning to fill you all in on a little fun project I've been working on.

About a month ago, our fearless Funko art director, Wilky, who happens to own an art gallery here in scenic Seattle, WA, decided to launch a new art show featuring customized and hand-made toys from all of the Funko artists. With that in mind, I started making a series of quick, simple and most of all silly, little toys for the show.

See, I completely suck as a sculptor, so where the other artists have been working on these absolutely stunning pieces, I've opted to go for quantity over quality and am hoping to skate through on simple charm, cuteness and unbridled silliness.

Thus was born the first line of Dork Horde Toys!

Each piece is a run of 6 to 8 pieces, all handmade and all a little different from the others, and every one of them will come in a plastic bag with a header card also designed by yours truly and will be available at the Tasty Gallery though the month of March, with plans to sell additional editions through a soon-to-be-launched Dork Horde Toys Etsy site.

Anyway, here are the first characters in the first line of Dork Horde Toys!

First up is Candy Scorn! The candy corn that doesn't approve!

Next we have Goldie McToof, the gold tooth with a diamond cavity!

Here's Boulder-Tron 5000! Is he stone or is he metal?!

Next up is Pooburp, the burping poop!

And don't forget about Traffic Cone Narwhal, the narwhal with a traffic cone for a horn!

We suspect that the War Boogers will be a huge hit!

And my personal favorite, the Obvious Cause of Death Ghosts! Each one died a different way! And they glow in the dark!

So, that's what I've got so far. I'll post some more pics once they're all done and in their packages with their header cards, and I'm sure I'll announce when the show opens.

Later, I'll be launching a second run of many of these toys (depending on which ones prove popular enough) and selling them on Etsy (most likely). Each one is signed and they all run around $10 a piece.

Anyway, here's to homemade toys!

(And yes, this little project is totally distracting me from my big top-secret project, which is getting a slow start. Yikes!)