Wow... I never thought I'd dislike a Batman toy so much...
Today's featured toy is the Batman & Batmobile set from Mezco from their artsy, hipster Mez-Itz line, which is basically their mini version of Mighty Muggs or whatever. Now, I've been wanting one of these Batman Mez-Itz figures ever since I first saw the preview pics of them on the interwebs.
I almost bought one from the Mezco booth at SDCC, but the guy there was such a total jerk to me that I had to walk away before I punched him in his smug little nerd face (that's another story).
So, when I finally saw this set on Entertainment Earth, and for a markdown price due to what they called "dings and nicks", I pulled the trigger.
I guess the "dings and nicks" they're referring to is that teensy weensy little dent in the front plastic. Fine by me!
So, I ripped this box open and couldn't wait to get this guy on the Bat-shelf. As soon as I got him out and set him on the table next to his iconic car, I was immediately struck by how massively huge the Batmobile looks next to the figure. I mean, it looks more like a Bat-SUV. So, that's strike one.
I didn't let the size of the Bat-SUV bother me too much, because to be perfectly honest, I mostly wanted the figure, which I have to say is a-freakin'-dorable. His shape is cute, the paint aps are solid, his little cloth cape is nice and he's all-around a top-notch toy. I especially love that his little head is on a ball joint so he can sort of look all around. Super cute!
I then wanted to put him in his giant Bat-SUV, so I... pulled... off... the entire... roof? Really?! That's how I'm supposed to put him in? They couldn't have come up with a little hinged cover or something? Damn, Mezco... that's weak. I mean, Fisher-Price could do that in the '70s. Ugh... Strike two.
I then got a good look at the inside of this thing and I was really happy to see how well-detailed the dashboard is, with all its little dials, buttons and gauges. I especially loved the little screen with Joker's grinning face on it. nice touch. That still doesn't excuse the whole roof coming off thing, though.
But, I have to admit, Batman does look pretty cute sitting in the seat.
Then I did what I always do when I get a new toy vehicle; I place it on the floor, give it a good push, and make vroooom! noises. Only, this vehicle didn't vroom. It didn't even budge. Why? Because the wheels wouldn't turn at all. I looked at the bottom of the car... Yep, there's a couple of axles in there, so it should roll. But mine didn't. Hmmm...
Then, it wasn't until I was looking over the packaging that I found this little scrap of paper, folded closed and taped down underneath the plastic piece that all of the toy parts were all attached to with twisty ties. I pulled out the plastic, peeled up the tape, opened the plastic sleeve that it was in, unfolded it and saw this...
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! Wow, Mezco... this is suckiness beyond all things that suck. What are horrendous folly of toy design. Yes, I know this is an "adult collectible" but Jesus Christ, toy cars always have wheels that roll! I could literally go into my garage right now and, with limited tools and things I find under my cabinets, make a toy car that may be ugly as hell, but would still have wheels that rolled.
I was stunned. What an astonishing piece of disappointing crap.
So, with all of that having been said; I love the figure, and it will take its rightful place on the Bat-shelf, but don't be surprised if you find that Batmobile in my $1 bin at my next toy show. I would give it to one of my nephews, but I wouldn't want to make them cry by giving them a toy car that doesn't roll.
Okay, rant over.