Friday, May 18, 2012

Tales from the 25¢ Bin!

Hey kiddies! It's time once again for another edition of Tales form the 25¢ Bin, where we combine the format of a first grade show-and-tell and my tendency for being cheap!

This latest haul isn't exactly astounding, but it did win points for sheer oddity.

First up, we have Atari Force #1, which came out way back in the year nineteen-hundred and eighty three. I remember buying this comic at my local drug store and fully expected to find tales based on all of my favorite Atari games like Adventure or Pitfall. But instead it was about a bunch of alien weirdos running around and doing stuff. I was totally bummed. Having re-read the issue over a slice of pizza, I have changed my tune and the comic is actually pretty cool with fantastic artwork.

Next up, we have a trio of comics from Whitman all about Disney's animated motion picture The Fox and the Hound, a movie that I barely remember, but when something is 25¢ and is vaguely interesting, I can't help myself. The first two issues retell the movie, with the third issue officially kicking of the New Adventures of the Fox & the Hound, which, if the cover is to be believed, involves a lot of hot girl foxes.

Next we have an issue of G.I. Joe that I'm pretty sure I already have, but it was only a 25¢ gamble, so I thought, what the heck. Besides, the cover shows Destro about to shoot Storm Shadow right in the face. Awesomeness... times... a gazillion.

Next up we have a comic that was designed to get jocks into comic books, an experiment that failed miserably. Here we have NFL Super Pro, a comic about a former pro football player who becomes a superhero. This looks like some crap that they crank out to give away at sporting goods stores or something, but this was a legit title for Marvel back in the day.

I bought it because now that I have started following NFL Football, I thought that this would be at least an amusing read. And besides, that cover by Joe Jusko is beyond awesome. I'm not kidding. Jusko is the man.

But the "story" is just corny as hell. Just look at this ridiculousness...

The part that made me nearly spit Vanilla Coke out of my nose is this set-up scene where we see the future villain manifest his penchant for being a jerk, when I can't help but notice that they made him a Chicago Bear! What the actual eff?! Why does he gotta play for the Bears? If he's such a violent, thick-headed thug, make him play for the Vikings or the Lions. 

The story turns out to be a morality tale about how taking steroids will turn you into a Rob Liefeld character with muscles in your knee-caps or whatever. Ah well...

And finally, every comic book collector that I knew in middle school had a copy of Whiz Kids, which was this free comic book that you could get at Radio Shack that touted the vast superiority of the Tandy home computer. Now, I know nothing about Tandy computers except that the only kid that we knew who had one spent the rest of his days at our usual local skateboarding haunt being nicknamed "Tandy". How much would that suck? "Haha! Tandy totally wiped-out on the ramp and started crying!" We were such jerks.

That's it for this installment, gang! See you next time on Tales from the 25¢ Bin!