Yeah, I admit it, I was a sticker collector when I was a kid. It may not have been the manliest of pursuits, but when I was in grade school, it was practically mandatory that you had a sticker book. Everyone had one, boys, girls, teachers... everyone. The best thing you could do to maintain some sort of level of toughness was to avoid those glittery unicorn stickers that girls kept trying to give us and to stick to ones that possessed an aspect of life that little boys truly hold dear in their hearts... stinkiness.
And the best stinky stickers came from a company called Trend (not that I knew that then), and those were the ones you cherished. And if you collected enough of the effluvial patches in your sticker book, the various noxious fumes would stir together into a greenish cloud powerful enough to keep away even the most persistent sparkly unicorn sticker lover.
Here are five of my favorites...
When you were a kid, pickles were not only stinky, but just plain funny. They're sort of a mix between a poop and a giant booger. Just sayin'. Plus, all the girls I know hated this one, which meant I got enough extras from kids who didn't want hem to make my sticker book smell like a bucket of Chicago style relish.
You know who's a winner? This sticker is, that's who. It's got a hot rod car on it and smells like gasoline, fer cryin' out loud. It doesn't get any manlier than that!
This one wasn't exactly many, but it smelled just like a pine tree. I remember getting this one from my 3rd grade teacher on a drawing I did in class and sitting at home, by our fake Christmas tree sniffing this one like crazy.
Just one whiff of this pizza-smelling sticker was enough to set our child-sized stomachs growling with pizza fever. I had several of these in my sticker book, every one of them scratched to the point of illegibility. If I could have shoved one permanently up my nose, I would have.
Ahhh yes... the sticker no teacher would ever give us. This one, which growing up in rural Michigan has taught me, smells just like the spray of the common skunk. These became contraband in 4th grade and thus morphed into a sort of underground currency. We'd carry them around all day, hidden in our pockets, with our jeans smelling like we'd just gotten back from an unfortunate camping trip.
That's it for this week's Top 5 list! Tune in next week for more!